1. Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?
In case he got a hole in one.
2. Why don’t golfers ever eat pie?
Just in case they get a slice.
3. How many golfers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Fore!
4. What did the driver yell at the golf cart that cut him off?
Kiss my putt!
5. What are a golfer’s favorite flowers?
Fore-Get Me Nots.
6. What is a golfer’s worst nightmare?
The bogeyman.
7. What is a golfer’s favorite bird?
Any birdie will do.
8. When is it too wet to play golf?
When your golf cart capsizes.
9. Did you hear about the two guys that met at a golf course?
It was the beginning of a beautiful friend-chip!
10. What’s the easiest shot in golf?
Your fourth putt.
11. Where can you find 100 doctors all at the same place on any given day?
A golf course.
12. What’s the difference between a golfer and a fisherman?
When a golfer lies he doesn’t have to bring anything home to prove it.
13. What does a golfer love to hear from his wife?
Talk birdie to me!
14. Why did Tarzan spend so much time on the golf course?
He was perfecting his swing!
15. Why didn’t the golfer get his homework done?
He was puttering around.
16. Where do ghouls and ghosts play their golf?
On a golf corpse.
17. What do golfers do on their days off?
Putter around.
18. What should NASA do if it wants to explore water on Mars?
Send a golfer there to hit a golf ball.
19. Why do golf announcers whisper?
Because they don’t want to wake up the people watching.
20. Which actress is incredible at golf?
Minnie Driver.
21. What did the sign above the golf club bar say?
“Don’t drink and drive. Don’t even putt.”
22. What do you call a really friendly golfer?
A social putterfly.
23. What do you call a monkey who wins the Masters?
The chimpion!
24. What are the primary components of a golfer’s diet?
A lot of greens and water.
25. Where can you find a golfer on a Saturday night?
Clubbing.
26. What is a golfer’s favorite dance move?
The bogey.
27. What do you call a wizard that can turn himself into a golf club?
Harry Putter.
28. Why was Cinderella such a bad golfer?
Because her coach was a pumpkin.
29. Why didn’t the golfer say anything before he hit the ball off the tee?
He was at a loss fore words.